Aim: To elucidate the meaning of being a close relative of a critically ill person cared for in intensive care during the initial phase of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Design: A narrative inquiry design following the COREQ guidelines.

Methods: Individual interviews with fifteen close relatives of patients critically ill with COVID-19 were analysed using phenomenological hermeneutics.

Results: The  surreal  existence  of  not  being  allowed  to  be  near  was  emotionally difficult.  While  distancing  due  to  restrictions  was  challenging,  physicians'  phone calls  served  as  a  connection  to  their  relatives  and  brought  a  sense  of  security. Keeping  notes helped them remember what happened and brought order to a chaotic situation.

Conclusion: Close relatives feel secure when they receive regular information about their critically ill relative, not just when their condition worsens. They wish to be physically near to their critically ill person; when this is impossible, digital technology can provide support, but further accessibility developments are needed.